[Disclaimer: This is all satirical, don’t take it seriously.]
Do you think we knitters could bring a class-action lawsuit against knitting podcasters out there? Those podcasters who have led me us (by raving about the color, texture and cost) to buy tons of yarn I we don’t really need, but it all sounds so good and then you go to the sites, and it looks good too, and the next thing you know, you’re buying six skeins of yarn you didn’t need nor expected to buy, and yet you can’t help yourself!!
They should answer for all they’ve done to me! Before I started listening to podcasts, I had three or four skeins of extra yarn and two of those were just acrylic for the kids to play around with. Then, I started listening to the many knitting podcasters out there, and a change came over me and I HAD TO BUY YARN! THE MORE YARN THE BETTER! I CAN NOT STOP BUYING MORE YARN!
The purchases of mounds and mounds of yarn have drained my bank account, I’ve spent less time with my loved ones because I’m constantly in my craft room, rolling in my yarn or (occationally) I’m knitting some of it up. The sleepless nights I spend in my craft room drooling over the yarn and plotting more ways to aquire it, patterns to buy, needles to work the patterns with are seriously affecting my health. My kids don’t recognize me anymore (I have a bit of a “dark circle” problem due to sleep depervation), and they say I have a funny smell about me now….like sheep. They cry when, instead of a “good-night story” like other kids, I tell them of my latest yarn purchase, color, cost and fiber content….
My husband says he’s sick and tired of eating Ramen every night, but I know that eating Ramen is good ’cause look how I keep the food costs down (and then I have more money for…well, you know…y-a-r-n).
My friends tell me that I have an addiction to yarn. Addiction, what addiction? I can stop anytime I want….They go on to say if I’d just admit I’m addicted, I’ll be able to start to deal with the problem. I have yet to hear of a good yarn psychologist out there. And what do they know?! They don’t even knit, they don’t know how beautiful it is to hold those skeins of color that are soft, so soft…. *sob*.
Just thinking about it makes me depressed…maybe I should get on my iTunes and see what new podcasts there are…maybe they’ll have a lead on some sale yarn…
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